I didn’t sleep at all last night. I’ve gotten four hours of sleep since Saturday. My head hurts. My brain hurts. My body is weak.
I just ate two packets of sugar in hopes that it will get me through work today. I have a video blog due tomorrow that I don’t even think I can do because I don’t want to go home.
I’m contemplating sneaking in the movie theatre this afternoon just so I can take a nap in peace. At least the seats are comfortable there. At this point, I could probably sleep anywhere. Even the hospital sounds more comfortable and safe than home.
Part of me feels like this is all punishment for running away. She always did say we could never live without her. But on a deeper level, I know that’s not the truth.
My inside is in chaos right now. They are scared as much as I am. They don’t understand it. I’ve failed to protect them once again.