I went to the bookstore for Anna today.

I was exhausted after work, but I knew that it was something that I should do for her.  I walked around the children’s section for a while to see if anything jumped out at me.  They really didn’t have anything with doggies.  Then I found the coloring and activity section.  I saw Press Out Pets book with dogs.  I didn’t know what it was at first, I just saw dogs and picked it up.  Apparently they are like paper dolls, but in dog form.  I thought Anna would like it, so I held onto it.  Then I started sorting through the coloring books trying to find something with doggies.  I thought this task would be a lot easier than it was.  I went through the entire aisle and didn’t find anything with just doggies.  Then I went over it one more time and noticed something that said Paw Patrol.  I guess it’s a cartoon or something.  Perfect.  A coloring book full of doggies.  Anna will love it.  Oddly enough, hidden behind it was a beaten up Sesame Street coloring book that looked like it was from the 90s.  I remembered my therapist mentioning that Anna liked Sesame Street.  So I picked that up, too.  Hopefully Anna will be happy.  Maybe she can help me with the Sesame Street, because aside from Elmo being red, I’m not sure I know anyone else.

I have a short day at work tomorrow, so I am going to spend the rest of the day doing things that Anna would want to do.  Maybe it will help me connect with her.  I don’t really know how this works.  I hope I’m doing this right.  I’m trying.

In an effort to educate myself, I ordered a dozen or so books on DID and dissociation.  What I know is what I’ve learned through psychology courses.  I feel that now since I have it, and that I will be blogging on an open forum about it, I should educate myself as much as possible about it.  How can I expect others to look to me for help when I don’t know what I’m talking about?  I wish I had an alter that liked to read.  THAT would be helpful.