Some books for Anna, some books for me.

I went to the bookstore for Anna today.

I was exhausted after work, but I knew that it was something that I should do for her.  I walked around the children’s section for a while to see if anything jumped out at me.  They really didn’t have anything with doggies.  Then I found the coloring and activity section.  I saw Press Out Pets book with dogs.  I didn’t know what it was at first, I just saw dogs and picked it up.  Apparently they are like paper dolls, but in dog form.  I thought Anna would like it, so I held onto it.  Then I started sorting through the coloring books trying to find something with doggies.  I thought this task would be a lot easier than it was.  I went through the entire aisle and didn’t find anything with just doggies.  Then I went over it one more time and noticed something that said Paw Patrol.  I guess it’s a cartoon or something.  Perfect.  A coloring book full of doggies.  Anna will love it.  Oddly enough, hidden behind it was a beaten up Sesame Street coloring book that looked like it was from the 90s.  I remembered my therapist mentioning that Anna liked Sesame Street.  So I picked that up, too.  Hopefully Anna will be happy.  Maybe she can help me with the Sesame Street, because aside from Elmo being red, I’m not sure I know anyone else.

I have a short day at work tomorrow, so I am going to spend the rest of the day doing things that Anna would want to do.  Maybe it will help me connect with her.  I don’t really know how this works.  I hope I’m doing this right.  I’m trying.

In an effort to educate myself, I ordered a dozen or so books on DID and dissociation.  What I know is what I’ve learned through psychology courses.  I feel that now since I have it, and that I will be blogging on an open forum about it, I should educate myself as much as possible about it.  How can I expect others to look to me for help when I don’t know what I’m talking about?  I wish I had an alter that liked to read.  THAT would be helpful.

4 thoughts on “Some books for Anna, some books for me.

  1. I’m not sure there is a “right” way to do things. My T shared that she isn’t the one that needs to console my little girl…that my little girl who is is desparate for love, attention and reassurance nedds that from ME not her. I know this but I’m like you…I don’t really know what to do. Really it’s so complicated. And I think we need to do what calms us most. As a whole you should feel better as you color and you will know through your self compassion if you are on the right path

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a wonderful display of self love and compassion for your parts. Our Anna also loves puppies! She has two stuffed dogs. She also loves The Little Mermaid and My Little Pony so I try to pick up toys and stickers and stuff with those whenever I can. It really does help me/us.

    Good idea on the DID books. I read everything I could get my hands on after my diagnosis. Not everything made sense or fit my experience, but it was so helpful in putting things together and gaining an understanding of how to help myself. Good luck.


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