I had my first series of dreams last night.
It’s funny because ever since I started taking Prazosin for nightmares and sleep disturbances, I haven’t even had any dreams. I brought it up to my therapist a couple of weeks ago. I sort of missed having dreams. While I appreciate not having nightmares, dreams had provided a nice escape…a break up of the monotony of sleep. I actually contemplated writing a blog post about it a few days ago, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
I will say, my sleep the past week or so has been increasingly worse. While I’m not having nightmares (that I can recall, at least), my startle response is extremely heightened. I wake up at every little noise. I wake up every time the cat meows. Sometimes I wake up and I don’t even know why. Then it takes what seems like forever to get back to sleep before I’m startled again. I’m not sure if my PTSD is just getting worse or the medication is not working as efficiently. I know the psychiatrist in the hospital told me both medications (Prazosin and Topamax) have to be slowly increased because they stop working. I didn’t expect that to happen in less than two months. I’ve been horrible at getting in contact with the social worker to get an appointment with the psychiatrist scheduled. I really need to work on that since I’m out of refills after this month.
I can’t remember all of the details of my dreams now that I’ve been awake and about. But I remember deciphering that the meaning had a lot to do with me undertaking the blogging job and speaking out against my mother. I got the impression from my dreams that this was something I was meant to do. I’ve probably been reading too much Carl Jung in my free time. Here I am analyzing my own dreams, now. Lord, help me. If only I could be my own therapist.