In a spur-of-the-moment decision, I have decided to spend Christmas with a friend from back where I came from.

I’ll be taking a train for the first time tomorrow morning, so that in itself is a little anxiety-provoking for me. This will also be the first time going back to that place and seeing someone from my old life, so I’m not sure how I will be emotionally. I am hoping I will be able to manage everything well.

I think I overpacked. It’s really only for two days, but I’m overly cautious. I also packed some comfort items, and things the other parts of me may want: my bedtime story, a coloring book and colored pencils, Courage (the stuffed lion my therapist gave me), and a notebook to scribble our thoughts in. I can’t possibly fit anymore in my bag. Poor courage is hanging out of the front pocket because my bag is so full.

I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m anxious. I’m scared. I’m a little bit of everything right now. I just hope this doesn’t turn into a disaster.