Struggling

I haven’t written in a few days.

I’ve really been struggling physically and emotionally. I’m going on nearly a week straight with this headache. I feel like all of the energy is being sucked out of me. I slept for more than 15 hours Sunday into Monday, and I still feel like I could sleep another 15 more. I’ve managed to drag myself to work each day, but that’s just adding to my exhaustion.

I had a bit of an emotional breakdown today. I’m sure my physical exhaustion didn’t help. I finally realized (or admitted to myself) that I’m alone right now. Everyone is talking about Thanksgiving and holiday plans and I feel lost and alone. I’ll be spending the holidays by myself. I know I’m better off without my family, but it still hurts. I had to pull my hat down over my face this afternoon because I couldn’t stop crying. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

As if that wasn’t enough to deal with, I’m having conflict with Charlie. He doesn’t like my best friends; he doesn’t think they are safe people. I’ve been talking about them more than usual lately and I guess it was too much for him. Now he’s mad. He’s always mad, but now he has a reason to be, I guess. I’m hoping he calms down soon. I don’t think I can please everyone.

I just wish I was feeling better. I don’t have time for this exhaustion and conflict.

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